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2010 40k TT Smack Talk thread!

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:58 pm
by Ed
When I enter the halls of Adepticon, I know I'm among some very special people. Actually, I know that as soon as I get within 100 feet of the doors. Let me simply state that if you attend Adepticon and worship any god other than Nurgle, your faith is misplaced. So now I'm going to point out how lame you are from across the Internet. Yes, I can smell you from here.

1. Nuns With Guns - I like the CatholicsComeHome.org advertising campaign as much as the next Fox News viewer, but this crosses the line.

2. Cold Steel Mercenaries: Enlisted Men - Every army needs someone to cook eggs and dig latrines.

3. Warmongers - In the grim future of the 41st millenium, there is only war (against fashion).

4. Invaders of Isstvan V - I just picture four guys with patchy facial hair all raising their fist in unison in a basement. Invaders of Cheetos, amirite?

5. Sons of Shatner - How many illegitimate kids does Cpt. Kirk have?!

6. Adeptus Brew City Ballers - Which of you McLovin's thought "ballers" was still being used? What a gnarly choice.

7. Team Snake Eyes - Snake Eyes was just Daredevil in a ninja costume. Abaddon would kick his ass. Yes, I went there.

8. Three Mikes and a Nate - Just drop Nate and find another Mike. Remembering my opponent's names isn't easy, so I appreciate all the streamlining that can be done. Option 2: Nate can legally change his name to Mike.

9. Arrogant Bastards - If you guys don't have a negative Sportsmanship score at the end, I'm calling shenanigans.

10. Chuck Norris - Please, the formal salutation is Charles Norris. You'd have to know Charles quite well to address him as Chuck.

11. The Pink Shirts - Breast cancer awareness or edgy ironic shirt color?

12. Abaddon's Legion - Did you hear what that Snake Eyes team said about Abaddon's mom? I don't wanna start nothin', but you might wanna roll up there and handle some bidness.

13. Pack-N-Heat - You named your team after a disposable pocket warmer you buy at gas stations? New low point achieved!

14. The Red Headed Step Children of Russ - Your ginger complexions will looks so wonderful under the intensely cold operating room lights in the convention hall.

15. We Pity the Fools - The feeling is mutual.

16. Spellbinder - Was this the D&D spinoff where you flew pirate ships through space? Excuse me while I end myself for knowing thi--

17. BOLS Threat Level Red - You are the kings of the warhammer 40k news and rumor blog-o-sphere. AKA, nothing.

18. 40k WRECKING CREW Detachment #666 - You're so edgy I think I cut myself.

19. 9th Inquisitorial Strike Force - Leave it to the Inquisition to fail to realize that if the first 8 strike forces couldn't get the job done...Ahh, who are we kidding? Not like you'll leave behind any wives and children! Nerdy virgin jokes: I love 'em.

20. Waagh Wili - I guess it's better than Waagh Jeffery or Waagh Kevin?

21. South Central Wisconsin Brotherhood - I was all excited until I got to the Wisconsin part. Well, we couldn't have someone in first place without someone in last place.

22. The Four Horsemen - Are you guys still employed at that horse carriage taxi service? Maybe look into a community college?

23. The Volyan Liberation Front - I'd be more interested in the Volyan Libation Front.

24. The Rusty Scabbard - A trip to the uptown clinic can fix that...not that I'd know firsthand of course.

25. Space Zerg - This must've taken less than zero imagination to come up with. Literally negative imagination. Others are now less smart because of you.

26. BNB Revenge of the Smurfs Part Deux - You're a bed-n-breakfast team? And this is your second shot at revenge?

27. Da Boyz - Boston Detachment - this is wikkid retaahdid.

28. Old Bay Bastards - Another team of illegitimate children?!

29. Balls Deep in Baltimore - Fleshlights don't count.

30. Jack Booted Thugs - Hey: jack booted is the only way to thug.

31. Dirty South Devil Dogs - Just remember that this is Chicago, so you'll have to leave your spouses with hooves at home. We frown upon such things.

32. The First Founding - still hasn't had their First Fondling.

33. Team ATL - Naming your team after your city's airport code?

34. Lords of Asaheim - When I think of Lords, I definitely think of squinty-eyed pasty men hunched over tiny dolls, yelling at dice.

35. 3 Foot 2 - I got nothing. I could make a short joke, but then I'd show up and get my ass beat by a gang of little people. Well played.

36. Daboyz - Are you guys the cheap knockoffs of Da Boyz? Are you simultaneously marketed to and deadly to children?

37. SGI - Silicon Graphics sent a 40k team?

38. Vegas Chapter - This reminds me to pack extra hand sanitizer. Thank you.

39. Team Misfit - A haircut and a new attitude goes a long way. Take it from me: someone who constantly bullied people like you.

40. Team Battle Ready - This team name has maintained the same level of suck since 2009.

41. Brothers of the Wolf - The furry convention is like two months after Adepticon, guys. Fred Fortman can give you all the details.

42. The Blood Drive - As long as you have juiceboxes and cookies for me, we can be friends.

More to come later when I quit shaking with rage...

Ed

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 5:23 pm
by muwhe
Nice to see the tradition continues...

I had actually started mine but then I felt guilty .. with Matt working on all the waitlists, adding tickets, and sorting out hall layouts.. while I was writting one liners on team names.

Course mine are better but .. this will do.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 5:24 pm
by n00bzilla99
Ed wrote:6. Adeptus Brew City Ballers - Which of you McLovin's thought "ballers" was still being used? What a gnarly choice.


That would be me sir. :D

Ed, I always get a good kick out of these, I've only attended last year and this upcoming one and will probably in the future but I've been reading these since I joined the boards in late 2007, so I've seen 3 years of these and they don't ever get old.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:06 pm
by muwhe
Wait .. no it won't ..

While Ed has posted some very nice taunts .. it is tradition.

Course nothing beats the original...


1 Nuns with Guns: Ya. Who we kidding we know girls don't play this game.
2 Cold Steel Mercenaries - Enlisted Men: Read the book 15 hours to find out what happens to Enlisted Men of the Imperium.
3 Warmongers: This isn't Fantasy.
4 Unknown (Captain S. MacKirdy): No name? .. Really?
5 Invaders of Isstvan V: Ya that ended in a Massacare …. I would expect similar results.
6 Sons of Shatner: Set Phasers to suck!
7 Adeptus Brew City Ballers: As in crying? Or are your refering to some strange WI drinking gaming paired with the Olympic sport of Curling?
8 Team Snake Eyes: You got as much of a chance as the G.I Joe the movie has of winning an Oscar… bring me "The Baroness" and we can talk.
9 Three Mikes and a Nate: I watched a movie once .. Called three Mikes and a Natalie ..don't think I'm interested in 3 Mikes and a Nate.
10 Arrogant Bastards: Might be my kind of team…
11 Chuck Norris: Pre-supporting Hucklebee Chuck Norris was unstoppable. Post-supporting Hucklebee .. Laughable.
12 The Pink Shirts: Subtle…see #9
13 Abaddon's Legion: Sons of Horus?
14 Pack-N-Heat: Packing up?
15 The Red Headed Step Children of Russ: You know what happens to Red Headed Step Children?
16 We Pity the Fools: You said it not I.
17 Spellbinder Psyche tests? You have read the new SW codex right?
18 BOLS - Threat Level Red: Hey .. Stelek says you can't play remember?
19 40k WRECKING CREW Detachment #666: 666 check. 40K Wrecking Crew check.. flashing the Wrecking Crew sign .. check. Coming in second check.
20 9th Inquisitorial Strike Force: 9 divided by 3 .. Is 3 and 3 strikes and your out.
21 Waagh Wili : Is this Orc for Free Willy? Or What you talking about Willis?
22 South Central Wisconsin Brotherhood: Is this suppose to be a South Central gang reference … and your from WI? Creditablity lost.
23 The Four Horsemen: See previous years .. Taunting randomly selected and insert it here.
24 The Volyan Liberation Front: In this political climate?
25 The Rusty Scabbard: Rusty .. That bodes well.
26 Space Zerg: Sorry to break this news to but wrong game buddy!
27 BNB Revenge of the Smurfs Part Deux: But can you do the dance of the 100 smurfs?
28 Da Boyz - Boston Detachment: Boston? Is there a Yankee detachment to finish second to in the list?
29 Old Bay Bastards: Smell anything like Aquavelva?
30 Balls Deep in Baltimore: Party in Team #9 room?
31 Jack Booted Thugs: Back for more beatings ?
32 Dirty South Devil Dogs: About to be taken to the cleaners.
33 The First Founding: First Clue?
34 Team ATL: Team Realhouse wives of Atlanta? Coming to Adepticon.
35 Lords of Asaheim: Almost to easy .. Replace the S .. oh you know the drill.

Re: 2010 40k TT Smack Talk thread!

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:51 pm
by Inquisitor_Malice
Ed wrote:10. Chuck Norris - Please, the formal salutation is Charles Norris. You'd have to know Charles quite well to address him as Chuck.


Know that Chuck Norris puts the beat down every year. You will get a round house kick to the face and the fists of Law and Order will be right behind.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:39 pm
by YeezyMozart
Ed your awesome bro love it made my night in class.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:18 pm
by Green Blow Fly
THIS Is like total rock oh sauris dudes!

G

love it

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:41 pm
by Spacecurves
I look forward to this thread every year. One of the best traditions of this great event!

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:57 pm
by Elthniar
Always the best thread. I've been waiting for this since last year! Keep 'em coming! There's still like 60 teams left

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:52 pm
by Huoshini
I'm suprised no one named thier team "Oh my F*** tackle" after the last NFL playoff game :P

PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:05 pm
by artificer
My first year slinging abuse... I was too busy last year converting my award winning army to smack talk.

here goes.
1 Nuns with Guns ** I suppose it beats “Priests with Altar Boys."
2 Cold Steel Mercenaries - Enlisted Men ** Team Cannon Fodder
6 Sons of Shatner ** Presumably, we look for the light green guys? Shatner loved the green girls...

7 Adeptus Brew City Ballers ** Team Balls On Chin
9 Three Mikes and a Nate ** Muwhe got this one dead on.
10 Arrogant Bastards ** Cage match for the name… I think I’ve got you beat.

11 Chuck Norris ** Jean Claude Van Damme
12 The Pink Shirts ** Pretty Pink Panties
13 Abaddon's Legion ** So, retreat just before the big victory?
14 Pack-N-Heat ** You guys should get together with #12
18 BOLS - Threat Level Red ** Is that off the Taco Bell ‘Volcano’ menu?
20 9th Inquisitorial Strike Force ** I assume the other 8 were KIA?
22 South Central Wisconsin Brotherhood ** Kinda like ninjas, but fat on cheese.

23 The Four Horsemen ** The Four Stableboys
29 Old Bay Bastards ** Old Spice Bastards.
30 Balls Deep in Baltimore ** You said it, not me.
32 Dirty South Devil Dogs ** Polish up yer ‘tooth’ we’re goin to da big city
33 The First Founding ** Getting a Fist Pounding
34 Team ATL ** Team ATM
36 3 Foot 2 ** Team “Not Allowed without Parental Supervision”
38 SGI ** So Getting Injured
39 Vegas Chapter ** Look for the Pasties?
40 Team Misfit ** Well Duh!
41 Team Battle Ready ** Team Beating-Ready
42 Brothers of the Wolf ** So you’ll lick yourselves in your spare time?
43 The Blood Drive ** You feel a pint low?
45 Dakka Detachment 2 ** Because one wasn’t enough.
46 Glaive Company ** Anything like the Electric Company?
47 Call to Arms ** Call for more beer.
48 Abaddon's Black Plague ** I think they make a cream for that
49 Volaticus Ferrum ** See #48
50 The Tijuana Donkeys ** See #48, I think.
51 Beer Nuts with Beer Guts ** Guts too big to see… I’ll just leave it there.

53 Sad Pandas ** The best kind, lazy things can’t even reproduce without help… a lot like most gamers really.
54 Flying Hellfish Dog Company ** So Abe Simpson is really your hero?
55 Spawn...From the Pits of Hellfish ** Can we just call you Team Caviar?
56 Skul-N-Bonz ** Presumably the list of all your bits that need breaking?
57 The General Staff ** I think you should leave the General’s ‘Staff’ alone.
58 Team Ironmen ** Ironmen, a great descriptive for most gamers

60 Haters Inc. ** You guys & Me, we’re having a few together.

62 Team Banzai ** Team Crash & Burn
63 The Good Guys ** Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.

65 Victorious Secret ** If you don’t look like Giselle Bundchen, I’m gonna sic Ogre on you.
66 Flying Hellfish Team Bug Stomper ** Team ‘La Cucaracha’
67 High Rolers ** Ah, if only you were high ROLLERS.
68 Half Evil ** Is the other half ‘Sad’?
69 BoLS - Threat Level Orange ** Was ‘Threat Level Beige” already taken?
70 Astartes Anonymous ** Yes
71 Penguins of Madigascar ** Team Orca Chow
72 The Gun Show ** The Jay Leno Show (ie canceled)
73 Kung Fu Grip Left ** Where did they go? My guess is for food.

76 ROFLStompa ** Gonna Get Waffle-Stomped

79 Robot Ninjas ** Team Slap-Chop
80 Craftworld Absynthe ** Because nothing is scarier than drunken poets…
81 Dakka Detachment One ** Detached from reality
82 Murphy's Lawmen ** Murphy Browners
83 Pus Bag's Revenge (New Game In Town) ** In Need Of Clearasil.
84 Team Handsome ** See #83
85 Mork Protects ** Pork Infects (swine flu reference)

87 5th from Last ** That’s a Given
88 2nd City - Blood Angels ** 2nd to Last Place
89 Four Norsemen of the Apocalypse ** I smell Lutefisk.
90 Echoes of Armageddon ** Big fans of Ben Affleck

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 6:04 pm
by Inquisitor_Malice
Chuck Norris will have everyone playing fister with the beard.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:46 pm
by The Black Knight
Artificer... what does #70 mean? Astartes Anonymous - ** YES?

PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:59 am
by artificer
The Black Knight wrote:Artificer... what does #70 mean? Astartes Anonymous - ** YES?


Doh! Stupid Brain!

What I meant to say was:

#70 Astartes Anonymous - ** YES, never heard the name before, won't hear it at awards time either.

trash

PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:35 am
by Depayen
Artificer- I think you should do evidentially what you self-proclaim to do best and do converting.